


Out of the Sea, Into My Arms

by lillypillylies



Category: The Little Mermaid (1989)
Genre: Body Horror, Corruption, F/F, Food Issues, Implied dubcon, Manipulation, Moral Decay, Tentacles, Transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:00:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21831820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lillypillylies/pseuds/lillypillylies
Summary: If the girl wants more, Ursula can certainly help her with that.
Relationships: Ariel/Ursula (Disney)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 135
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	Out of the Sea, Into My Arms

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wolf_of_Lilacs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolf_of_Lilacs/gifts).



Ursula has been watching this one for a while. 

Ariel, the youngest of Triton's spawn, is a vision of gleaming scales and vibrant hair shining out of Ursula's crystal ball. The girl has so much energy. All that curiosity and youthful endeavour. It might be sickening if it weren't so useful. 

The little mermaid is an opportunity, one that Ursula isn't about to let slip through her tentacles. 

But it's no good rushing these things; the girl has to be ready for it. Desperate for it. And Ursula is content to wait at first, and watch. And plan.

And strangely, after a while, she finds herself growing almost fond of the kid. She's got an attitude about her that Ursula can relate to - Ariel doesn't just want to go with the flow. She'll swim against the current till her fins fall off if it gets her what she wants. And she doesn't just want the everyday sort of things her fellow merfolk want; certainly not what dear old Daddy thinks she _should_ want. Oh no, she wants more than that.

And if the girl wants more, Ursula can certainly help her with that. How best to wreck her revenge against Triton has been the matter of much thought over the years, and now here is the perfect scheme presented to her like a boiled crustacean on a silver platter. 

Lifting the crystal ball closer to her face, she watches as Ariel swims off on another of her little trinket-hunting adventures. On the day of Triton's big celebratory concert, no less. 

Ursula cradles the ball and its vision of a girl on the brink like the gift that it is. 

*

It all happens so fast after Ariel signs her name to the contract. The sea witch begins to work, throwing ingredients in the cauldron. A swirling whirlpool of a potion that frightens Ariel as much as it excites her, to think that this is the answer to all of her dreams. 

She's going to go up there, be human, be with _him_. Nothing else matters, and it's too late for fear, anyway.

"Now, where is it?" Ursula says, pausing in her sorcerer's chant. "The last ingredient, the most important. Ah! There, my dear, pass it to me, will you?"

She points to a bottle in the corner of a shelf, and Ariel reaches for it, peering briefly at the contents as she swims back to the middle of the cave. It's a small grey lump of _something_ suspended in a murky solution and Ariel knows she probably doesn't want to know but can't help asking, "What is it?" as she passes it to Ursula.

"Just a little dash of human." Ursula laughs as she hurls the bottle into the cauldron, and the potion bubbles and glows with power. "Part of one, anyway. A toe, I think. Some drowned sailor or other, I'm sure he won't miss it. Well, don't look like that, what did you expect? You want to be one of them, don't you? The spell needs something to work off of. And now just one more thing - your part in the bargain, your voice. Sing!"

And Ariel is too far gone now to do anything else. She sings as her voice is stolen away from her.

And then she is transformed.

But not into a human.

*

She flees - or she tries to. She has to get away, to escape the confines of the cavern, but her body won't work the way she wants it to. It's ungainly, unnatural, _wrong_. She can't flick her tail and slip away through the water quick as a bluefin. Because her tail is gone and in its place is nothing she expected. Nothing she wanted. 

She wants to scream and she can't because that is gone, too.

With a mass of hideous tentacles beneath her instead of legs she barely manages to escape the tunnel back into the open water. Sebastian and Flounder flit around her in a panic, the tumult of their voices no help in her distress. 

Ursula's booming voice cuts through the chaos. "Stop! Now, what's this?" She emerges from the cavern and circles Ariel's horrified, huddled form. "Now _this_ is interesting."

"What did you do to her you old w-witch!" Flounder shouts.

Ursula makes a gesture and both he and Sebastian are set upon by the eels, who wrap them up, muffled tightly in their sinuous bodies.

"So what's happened here, I wonder?" Ursula says, not seeming at all distressed by the situation. Ariel lifts her head and glares as fiercely as she can. "Not exactly human, are you? Unless... That _was_ the human sample you fetched for me, wasn't it? But what else could it have been? I don't recall having any octopus around. Unless... Well, there was that time I lost the tip of one of my lovely tentacles in a tragic encounter with a shark. Tragic for the shark, anyway, but boy did it sting. Luckily, they grow back. I did keep my poor severed extremity preserved in a bottle, never know when that kind of thing might come in handy. No pun intended." She laughs a deep throaty laugh.

An angry protest bursts out of Ariel before she remembers she can't talk, and resorts to more glaring.

Ursula rolls her eyes. "All right, all right, so you're not one of your precious humans but come on, some might consider this an upgrade."

Shock and horror is being overtaken for the moment by indignation, and giving up on being heard Ariel lurches back into the cave. It's so hard to move. The tentacles go every which way all at once. Coordination is simply too much for her right now, but she makes her flailing way back into Ursula's sanctum and finds the shining golden contract Ursula made her sign. 

The one that says she would get to be human. 

She jams the tip of her finger into the word, and looks up at Ursula who has followed her. 

She mouths it as emphatically as she can. _HUMAN._

Ursula strokes her chin. "Well, you might have a point there. I suppose this doesn't fulfil our little pact, does it? I can see, from your perspective, why you might be a bit miffed."

Still unwieldy in this new body, with these awful tentacles where two beautiful legs were supposed to be, Ariel abandons the contract and turns awkwardly to the cauldron and gestures frantically at it.

"Another potion? Sorry, sweetie, it doesn't work like that. The spell is binding, what's done is done. Well, and as to that, we said three days, didn't we? Well, the power contained in my flesh has a little more oomph than your average human bits and bobs. No knowing how long you'll be stuck like this, but certainly it'll be more than three days."

Ariel deflates, panic giving way to true fear. What if she's stuck this way forever? 

"Now, since the terms of our arrangement have been altered somewhat, through no fault of my own, I suppose it's a tad unfair of me to keep this, isn't it?" Ursula dangles the shell pendant containing Ariel's voice from her finger. Ariel watches it swing back and forth with longing. "Oh, look at me, old softy that I am. Here, you poor child."

Ursula swims closer, until the large mass of her tentacled self is practically on top of Ariel. And they're all _touching_ , all of Ursula's tentacles rubbing and twining with all of Ariel's. 

Ariel can only bear it for long enough to accept the shell Ursula ties around her neck.

"There," Ursula says, "just until we get all of this sorted out. Go ahead, as long as the shell is touching you, you can use the voice within."

Ariel clutches the shell in her fist, pressing it tight against her chest, and opens her mouth. "Get away from me!" 

"Now, now, I -"

"How could you do this? You said you'd make me a human and instead - look at me! I can't go to the surface like this! And I can't - I can't go home. I - look at me! I'm a monster! Like you!"

"A monster. Now where have I heard that before, hm? _You're a monster, Ursula._ Monster, that's what they all called me, your kind. Your dear father said it with a certain relish when he banished me."

"I thought you were banished for doing things with your magic - terrible things -"

"Terrible is relative, isn't it? Hasn't your father ever done anything with that trident of his that you might call terrible?"

"I... Yes. But -"

"I suppose he thought he was doing it for the right reasons. _Right_ , according to him." 

Ariel falls silent. She can't argue with that. The only reason she came to Ursula is because of what her father did. Because he couldn't understand - refused to even listen to her at all. 

For a moment the devastation and anger that drove her here are all she feels, misery crowding in on top of misery.

"But... how long will I be like this? What about going up on land? What about..."

"Your prince? Well, I don't know about that. As for this spell, like I said, I can't say exactly how long it will last. A month, perhaps? Maybe more? Who can say. You'll just have to wait and see."

"But I can't stay like this! I can't go up on land and - oh no, I can't go home. My father can't know about this."

"Hmm, seems like you're in a real sea pickle."

"This is your fault."

"I'd say there's blame to go around," Ursula replies, idly inspecting her fingernails.

Ariel deflates. She knows Ursula won't help her. She's not even entirely sure this was just a big mistake like Ursula says. The witch can't be trusted, of course. 

"But... what do I do now?"

"Not my concern, sweetcheeks. Now run along." Ursula waves her off. 

Ariel, torn and confusion, slowly turns and leaves the cave.

Ursula's lilting voice drifts after her as she escapes down the tunnel. "There you go, back home to daddy."

*

At least she has her voice back. It's difficult not to cry when she talks to Flounder and Sebastian, who have been released by Ursula's eels. She's made a terrible mistake and all three of them know it. 

"What are we gonna do?" Flounder moans.

"How will we explain this to your father?" Sebastian wails.

"We can't tell him!" They both look at her in disbelief. "I'm not going home like this - I can't! I have to wait till I change back, maybe I can convince Ursula to help me -"

"Oh, that worked so well the first time!" Sebastian says.

"Maybe your dad can help you," Flounder says.

Ariel shakes her head firmly. "I can't. Flounder, I _can't_. I won't ask him for help."

"But he'll want to know where you are, what do we tell him?" 

"Tell him I swam away from home. After what he did, it shouldn't be a surprise."

"Everyone will be looking for you," Sebastian says.

"They won't think to look for me here. Not if you don't tell them."

"But Ariel -"

"Please, Flounder. You know I can't go back home, not like this. No one can know I made a deal with Ursula."

"It would kill his highness to know what you've become," Sebastian mutters. His claw goes to his throat. "It might kill somebody else besides."

"You saw what he did to my collection. And that was only for going to the surface to see some humans. What would he do if he knew about this?"

The two of them share a look that speaks more of fear than concern, and Ariel knows they aren't going to argue any further. 

They're reluctant to leave her here all the same, alone here in the dark depths, with Ursula nearby, and Ariel is not happy about it, either. But she hates the way they look at her, their eyes drawn inevitably down to where she's now more octopus than fish. And they promise to return the next day. 

For now this is the best place for her, the deep chasm where Ursula makes her home. Ariel can hide away here for now, where no one will see her and know what she's done. Just until she can figure out what to do, or until the spell ends. 

*

She leaves the depths and goes to the surface that night, when the waters are dark and there's less chance of being seen by the merpeople surely out looking for her by now. 

She can't help it, knows it isn't wise, but the darker it gets and the more alone she feels, the greater the urge to swim _up_. Up there where the humans are, where she so badly wants to be.

She twists up her hair with a strand of brown kelp - it's the most recognisable part of her left. The blue-green of her lower half is still bright and fairly noticeable but she ignores this. Doesn't want to think about the tentacles. Doesn't want to stop herself from doing what she wants, no matter the risk of being caught.

She makes her way slowly - still getting the hang of propulsion with tentacles instead of a tail - to the harbour where the ships sway gently at the end of their anchors, and lights sparkle around the shore from the windows of the human dwellings.

It isn't as easy to stay afloat as usual, and she doesn't stay there long, head out of the water, breathing the air, hearing the faint sound of music from one of the ships nearby. It's not like the joyful celebration she saw the other night, when the sailors danced and toasted their prince, and those amazing lights burst in showers of colour across the sky. Tonight it's a slow, meandering tune, a man singing words she can only half hear and doesn't understand.

The lights up at the castle seem as far away as the stars in the sky. When Ariel ducks back beneath the water it's so much easier than swimming up to the surface; she lets the heaviness take her down, sinking like a stone to the murky depths.

*

"So you're still here," Ursula says the next morning. 

She appears slowly out of the gloom and Ariel notices all over again the particular way Ursula moves herself along. Tentacles curling and lurching over the landscape, propelling her forward in a rolling glide with sudden jets of motion in between. 

_That's how I look._ She recoils mentally from the image of herself like that. Like Ursula.

"Didn't feel like going home?" Ursula croons, leaning down to see Ariel better.

Ariel isn't keen to emerge from the dark hole she's curled herself into through the night. She turns her face away from Ursula's looming figure. 

"I can't. Just leave me alone."

"Why don't you come back inside? If you're going to hang around, you may as well make yourself comfortable. And you never know what dangers are lurking around these parts."

"Besides you?"

Ursula just laughs and goes away again. Ariel doesn't follow her back to her cave. At least, not right away.

*

The tentacles are so strange. Bright blue-green, like her tail used to be, but where there used to be shimmering scales there is now slippery, gelatinous skin. The undersides are lined with suckers that attach themselves to anything they touch, and it's so sensitive under there - especially where the thick muscular upper-tentacles taper down to their thin, dexterous ends. She prods at the tip of one and it curls reflexively around her finger; she stares in horrified fascination for a moment before jerking her hand away. 

No one could fall in love with her like this. 

She was willing to risk everything for a chance at life as a human, with Eric, but that's impossible right now. The injustice of it burns inside her, resentment pooling down deep like molten lava, simmering away with nowhere to go because there's nowhere for _her_ to go.

She just can't stand the thought of going back to her father. Even if he could help her, changed her back to herself, the thought of his fury is too much to bear.

She sits there alone and stews for half the day. 

Flounder comes then, breathless and twitchy from a solitary swim through the depths. He fills her in on the chaos back at the palace, everyone in an uproar over the missing princess. She hopes they look for her in shallower water. Right here, in the creepiest place in the seven seas, is really the only place for her right now.

She thanks Flounder for the news, tries to muster a brave smile so he won't worry too much, and sends him away.

*

Ursula comes around again the next day, though she doesn't stop to chat. "Don't mind me, just feeling a little peckish." She waves a hand and is on her way.

Later she comes back in the other direction. She pauses this time, slinging an arm across the rock that forms a shallow shelf over Ariel's head.

"Still not wild about the new bod, hm?"

"Of course I'm not!"

She emerges from her hiding place to snap at Ursula about it some more, but then catches sight of the sack Ursula is carrying, and recoils with a gasp. Through the netting she can see the writhing, distressed animals stuffed within. Ursula has been hunting.

"Hungry?" Ursula brandishes a wickedly pointed stick which she stabs into the sack. She offers it to Ariel, several creatures, still moving, impaled on it.

"No, thank you." She turns her face away in disgust. Merfolk don't eat fish. 

Ursula shrugs. "Suit yourself."

Ariel realises that, while the sound of Ursula snacking is rather off-putting, she is a little hungry all the same. There's plenty of kelp around that she's been nibbling while here. Mostly she's been too busy feeling sorry for herself to eat much.

"You might find you need a little more than seaweed to keep you satisfied," Ursula says in between bites. "Our kind have a more varied appetite."

"I'm not like you!"

Ursula finishes sucking a shrimp from its shell, and raises an eyebrow. 

"For now, maybe," Ariel concedes. "Temporarily. You said it would wear off."

"Is it really so terrible, being like me? Or do you still think me _monstrous_?" 

"Look, I - I don't mean to be rude about this. It's just..."

"Well, I suppose you are going through a trying time, aren't you? You didn't get what you wanted. So much disappointment, pining for what you can't have. It's all right, my dear, I do understand."

She doesn't sound insincere about it, which surprises Ariel.

And it's actually kind of nice to be understood for once, to not have her feelings dismissed like they count for nothing. She offers Ursula a weak smile, and the sea witch returns it. For the first time she almost seems kind. The murky green light here in the depths casts a strange glint in Ursula's eyes, but Ariel ignores it. Everything looks strange down here, in this place for outcasts. Strange doesn't have to mean bad, after all.

It just feels so odd, her form so different. The way the tentacles move beneath her, independently, almost like they each have a mind of their own. She pushes down the revulsion she feels as she looks down at the mass of _things_ where her tail used to be. Where two human legs were _supposed_ to be. 

What would two legs have felt like compared to this? Surely it wouldn't have been so weird.

 _Or maybe it would have_ , the voice of uncertainty whispers in the back of her head.

Maybe she would have been stuck up there on land, standing on two feet, and wishing just as desperately to be a normal single-tailed girl again.

She hears a heavy sigh from Ursula, who seems too glum to finish her food, twirling the stick slowly with it's half-eaten morsels still attached. "It can be so hard, being different."

Ariel finds herself struck with a sudden pang of shame. _I should try to be more understanding of her, too,_ she thinks. Surely she could do that, at least. To have a little compassion. So few people ever did, if you were different.

*

Night falls again, and she goes back up to the surface where a wild gale blows overhead. Ariel rises and falls with the huge rolling waves of the open ocean and can think only of the day of the storm, when she rescued Eric from drowning.

Their eyes had met and she had known that she loved him.

She wonders what he's doing right now. If he's on another ship, in this weather. If he's in danger of being dashed against the jagged rocks, sinking down beneath the water where his human body can't survive. She won't be there to save him if that happens, and the thought fills her with helpless dread.

She can't stand the thought that there's nothing she can do about all of this. That she's stuck like this. 

There must be something, some way.

She leaves the stormy surface for the depths once more, and for the first time ventures back inside Ursula's cave. 

The sea witch looks up from her vanity in surprise. 

"What's this? Am I to be honoured by such a visitor? And here's me without my face on."

"Do you really have a human toe?"

Ursula pauses in applying colour to her lips, eyebrows drawing up high as she regards her.

Ariel gulps. "It's just that I was curious about it. You were going to use it in the spell. To make me human?"

"You doubt me, do you? Ugh, where's the trust," she mutters, turning back to the mirror.

"I'm sorry, I'm only curious."

Ursula waves a hand to the back of the cave where there are shelves of bottles and other odds and ends. "It's back there, somewhere. Yell if you find it, I'd like to know myself. I'm the one who lost a perfectly good tentacle tip in that spell of yours, you know."

Ariel crosses the cave, tentacles falling over themselves in her eagerness. There are a lot of weird things in bottles, most of them she wouldn't have a hope of identifying. She's not entirely sure what a detached human toe looks like, for that matter, although she has an idea they're sort of like fingers that go at the end of - what are those things? Feet?

She finds a bottle that contains something like a shrivelled finger and holds it up. "Is this it?"

Ursula comes over and peers at it for a few seconds. "Well, no, it isn't a toe. But you're close."

"What is it, then?"

"Ah, here it is. Catch." Ursula tosses another bottle at her, and Ariel yelps and juggles both it and the one she's already holding for a moment before managing not to drop either one. "Curiosity satisfied, yet?"

"It's just... I was wondering if... Maybe you could try to spell again? Try and make me human, I mean."

"I told you how this works, didn't I?"

"Right, but if you could just _try._ Please?"

Ursula doesn't say anything, is still and silent, staring at her long enough that Ariel grows fearful. Ursula has so much power, is stronger, older, bigger - Ariel hasn't seen her really angry and is sure she doesn't want to.

But Ursula doesn't explode. She turns, beckoning Ariel to follow, as she disappears into one of the shadowy tunnels leading off from the main cavern. The way lights up with the eerie glow of phosphorescence as Ursula moves along the passage, which eventually opens into a cavernous space that spirals upward to a high point, so like Ariel's own cave of treasures that she gasps upon seeing it. There aren't treasures of the human world stored here, but dozens - hundreds - of scrolls, and engravings of all kinds. Bone, metal, stone, glass, carved and inscribed with words that Ariel can only guess the meaning of. There are chests bulging with artefacts, a whole collection of crystal orbs, and bottles upon bottles of magic ingredients. 

"Well," Ursula sweeps her hand around dramatically, "here we are. My little collection. You're welcome to look around."

Ariel is already looking around, her curiosity getting the better of her. Everything in here must be magical, she concludes, useful for magic, or about magic. 

"Why -"

"You want a new spell? Go right ahead. Find one yourself."

"But I don't know anything about magic."

"Well, you're a smart girl, I'm sure you'll figure it out."

Ursula leaves her there by herself, staring around in amazement. After a while, hardly even meaning to, Ariel beings to learn.

*

Her stomach rumbles again. It's been doing that a lot. 

She's been eating more, all the kelp she can stand, all the roe she can find. It just doesn't seem to fill her up.

With a sigh she goes back to reading about magic charms: the process of imbuing an everyday object with a spell, a curse, or just simply raw power for the purpose of focusing and directing it at will. 

Her father's trident is a type of magic charm, she realises. An incredibly powerful one. 

The seashell tied on a string around her neck, holding her voice captive, is another. 

It's all so fascinating, everything she's been reading about. She's always known basic, everyday sorts of things about magic - the things that everyone knows. But no one ever sits little merfolk down and teaches them all of this, the intricacies of magic, the theory behind it all. They certainly don't teach merchildren how to use it.

Ariel has always sort of believed that magic was only for the special few, like witches, or her father. She's not sure where exactly she got that idea. She's also not so sure it's true. 

Her stomach complains loudly but she is determined to ignore it until a voice behind her makes her jump.

"You should take that thing on the stage! That's what we call _projection_. They'd hear you in the back row for sure."

Embarrassed, Ariel rubs her midsection, twisting round in her growing pile of reading material to look at Ursula. The mass of tentacles twist up in her wake and with a frustrated growl she kicks out in eight directions to free them. The jolt of movement sends her careening upwards, and it's a few seconds of awkward flailing before she can propel herself back to where she was.

Ursula watches all of this with amusement.

"Can I help you?" Ariel says with a huff.

"You'd be less irritable if you only ate something. Difficult to study on an empty stomach, too."

"I just ate, thank you, I'm fine." But the thought of food has another stomach rumble echo through Ursula's library.

"I can't bear to see you suffer. Or hear you, either." Ursula tosses a large handful of shellfish her way. A large scallop cracks half open as it strikes the floor, and comes to land by the tip of one of Ariel's tentacles. 

"Merfolk don't -"

"Oh come on, they don't even talk - how much personality can one of those delicious little delicacies have?" Ariel doesn't answer. Urusla shrugs. "Suit yourself, as always. I do admire a girl with principles."

Once she's gone, Ariel sighs again. It isn't as easy to concentrate as it was earlier in the day. She can't make the words stay in focus; her mind keeps wandering. So do her eyes, over to the shellfish littering the cave floor.

They don't talk, no, but they can join a chorus. They can keep a beat, feel a rhythm, make music of their own. She's never eaten something that could sit in Sebastian's orchestra and join her in a song. But she's _hungry_. Like she's never been before.

 _I'm a different kind of creature than I was before,_ the voice of reason reminds her, sounding extra sensible all of a sudden. _And we don't think fish are wrong for eating smaller fish._

It's just that merfolk aren't like that, or they're not supposed to be. 

Ariel turns away from the food - _shellfish_ , just innocent molluscs - and goes back to reading.

She lasts another hour before her tentacle curls itself around the open scallop and brings it up to her mouth.

* 

Ariel does not like Ursula. 

Ursula has given Ariel something wonderful by giving her unlimited access to her library, and - even better - left her almost completely alone to explore and read and poke at anything she wants.

But this does not make Ariel any more disposed to liking her. Really, it is the least Ursula can do after botching her spell and ruining Ariel's hope of going up to live on land and fall in love with a human.

Ursula has, of course, committed worse crimes than that. Ursula is not a good person - not because she has tentacles instead of fins, but because of how she uses her power. Ariel never has to remind herself of this fact. The 'unfortunate souls', as Ursula calls them, those miserable, shrivelled prisoners rooted to the cave floor, are the ever-present evidence of Ursula's wickedness. 

However badly the merfolk treated Ursula it can't justify what she's done to these individuals, and Ariel feels guilty every time she looks at them because she could do something for them, couldn't she? If she went back to her father and told him, he'd have to help his own people. 

Wouldn't he? Or would he think they got what they deserved, in making a deal with Ursula? 

Ariel isn't going to go to her father, either way. But they're so unhappy, trapped, silent, and helpless. 

_I could have ended up like that._ Ariel hates to admit it, but things could be worse for her. She isn't mute, at least, and she isn't helpless. 

"I'll help you if I can," she whispers to them on day when Ursula is sleeping. Because there must be something she can do. For them, and maybe for herself, too. She keeps on with her research, learning more about sorcery every day. Every new fact or magic word she learns only spurs her on to know more. 

Any spell can be broken, she's sure of it, no matter what Ursula says. And why would she believe Ursula, anyway? She doesn't trust her any more than she likes her. And learning magic herself, having power all of her own, Ariel is starting to think this is the key to everything. 

_One day_ , the thought whispers in her head like a secret enchantment, _I might never have to ask anyone for anything. I won't have to wait to get what I want. Or ask permission. Or hide. I'll have everything I want and I'll get it on my own._

It's a nice thought. A beautiful, precious thought. One that she keeps to herself.

She doesn't tell Flounder about it when he comes to see her, or Sebastian, who sometimes nervously accompanies Flounder and spends the whole time wringing his claws and ranting. 

She's already told them that she's trying to learn some magic but they're both appalled at her learning anything from Ursula at all. They don't need to know how much she likes it, they wouldn't understand. They spend their visits mostly just begging her to give up and come home. To ask her father for help.

He's so worried, they tell her. He's frantic to find her, sending his people out to the far reaches of the ocean to find her, while he sits in his throne room, inconsolable.

That sounds like her father, Ariel thinks, quashing the twinges of guilt she feels at the image.

He's the one who drove her away, after all. What good is it, if he feels sorry now?

*

The happiest she's been since her father destroyed her treasures is when she successfully performs her first spell: a simple charm in the form of a small coral blossom that casts a disguising shadow over her when she pins it to her hair. 

When she sees Ariel practising it, Ursula applauds in a way that hardly seems sarcastic at all. "Not bad for a novice. You may have a knack for this sort of thing, a spark of raw talent. A wonder no one ever saw it before." 

The praise sits oddly with Ariel. It doesn't feel like flattery; Ariel almost feels as if she's earned this relatively small achievement in a way she doesn't remember earning anything before. But approval from Ursula is hardly one of her goals.

She appreciates it all the same.

It isn't exactly a very advanced charm - it's not a real disguise or true invisibility, but anyone looking her way shouldn't see anything more than a dark patch of water unless they're paying very close attention. It's hardly a big deal at all, but at least she won't have to worry as much about being seen when she leaves the cave.

And she has to leave the cave, isn't about to become a prisoner here.

She leaves to find food for herself, to meet with Flounder and Sebastian when they visit, to continue going up to the surface - which she does almost every day, though she couldn't say exactly why.

Maybe she needs to remind herself why this is happening; what could possibly be worth all of this trouble.

There's nothing for her up there now, no place for her on dry land, or with the prince, not when she looks like this. But there's no one to stop her, no one to tell her it's too dangerous, so she keeps going, although it mostly just leaves her sadder than before.

And as the days pass she begins to go less often.

It's the magic that occupies her thoughts more and more; when other things crowd in - her father, Eric, her sisters, home - she buries her head in another scroll.

Ursula doesn't seem to mind what she does. Ariel comes and goes as she pleases from the cave. Ursula doesn't mind her questions, either, answering them or suggesting where to look in the library to find out herself.

One question Ariel can't help asking is, "You don't mind? Sharing all of this..."

Ursula waves a dismissive hand. "Where's the reason in hoarding knowledge away? What's a little magical know-how between friends? Have at it, I say. Knowledge is power, you know, and power - well, honey, that's everything. Now _some_ magic users might want to keep these things to themselves. Seems a little petty, if you ask me."

Ursula saunters off, hips swaying. Ariel watches her go, thoughtfully. 

*

Several weeks pass this way. The month that Ursula speculated is when the magic would wear off, and Ariel would change back to her old self, is almost up. 

She has grown confident enough in her new form to move about with ease but she still isn't exactly enamoured of the change. She longs to be herself again, but the uncertainty of her situation grows with every day.

What will happen once she's a normal mermaid again?

There's another room in Ursula's cave dwelling. It's where she stores the contracts belonging to the unfortunate souls she keeps as her prisoners. There are so many of them. They couldn't fulfil their part of whatever bargain they struck with the sea witch, but they each signed their name and agreed to the terms. The contracts are unbreakable. 

Ariel wonders what drove them to seek out Ursula, how desperate they must have been. 

Ariel wonders about that a lot. 

Her contract with Ursula still exists, though the terms on either side haven't been met. Ariel hasn't been made human, and the prince hasn't kissed her. Her voice still lives in a charmed shell hanging around her neck.

She's afraid to ask what will happen once this stalemate is over. She's so much more aware now of all that she has to lose. What more she _can_ lose. What her fate will be if she fails - that she will belong to Ursula, knowing precisely what has happened to so many before her.

She's growing less sure that a chance of a kiss from a prince is worth all of this. 

*

"Oh, there you are," Ursula says when Ariel enters the main cavern. She looks over in time to see Ursula hastily stuffing something out of sight, deep in her cleavage. It looked like Ursula's crystal ball. Ursula pats her hair, collecting herself, and then points over at the cauldron. "I don't know what that was supposed to be, but the aroma is something special. I assume that was the desired effect?"

Ariel winces. "Oops, sorry, I forgot about that. I'll clean it up."

"Why trouble yourself?" Ursula says a few magic words, and with a dramatic sweep of her hands the spoiled potion fizzes alarmingly for a few seconds before bubbling away into nothing. "So. Saw those little friends of yours, did you?"

"Well, I-"

"What else could distract you if not some juicy gossip from home?"

"It wasn't gossip! Just..." Ariel sighs. "More of the same. Never mind. I'm going to try that potion again."

"Daddy still searching for his beloved little princess?"

Frowning, Ariel makes her way over to the shelves at the back of the cave. "I almost wish they wouldn't come. Flounder and Sebastian, I mean. It always just makes me feel awful. It's not like I can help any of this. And they must know how much I miss them all."

"Sounds like a problem, all right. Did you use up all the sea urchin spines? _Someone_ is going to have to go and get more."

"I will, don't worry."

"Poor thing. I was homesick, back in the early days of exile. Believe it or not, I had friends and family too..."

Ariel looks at Ursula in wonder. "You did?" 

"Sure. So surprised. I'll try not to take it as an insult."

"I just didn't think -"

Ursula gives a careless shrug. "Well, that was all a long time ago."

"Did they... Do you think they were mad at you? For leaving, I mean. Do you think they ever forgave you?" Ursula doesn't answer. Ariel worries her lip between her teeth, then keeps talking just to fill the silence. "I just - all my sisters. And my father. They won't understand. They never understand. And it's not like I wanted to just abandon them. I have to live my own life, don't I? I couldn't just do what everyone expected me to do. It's not my fault I couldn't be happy just being what they wanted me to be. Right?"

"I think so, I think you're right about everything. But what do I know? Is it my opinion that really matters? Guess you'll have to ask them yourself when you see them again."

Ariel huffs. "Even when I go home, they can't ever know about any of this. None of them would understand."

"Not even your sisters? Sisters should be able to share everything. So I've heard."

"My sisters were always too busy trying to get our father's approval to be interested in anything very, well, very _interesting_. Like the human world, or exploring, or adventure."

"And did any of them ever get it? Your father's approval."

"Sometimes, I guess. When he was in the right mood."

Ursula snorts. "How often was that..."

A prick of defensive loyalty makes her reply, "My father loves us. He's - he's nice. A lot of the time. As long as we don't bother him too much, or ask for too much. Or do something he doesn't like. Everything always has to be _his_ way. Lately it feels like I can't do anything right." She throws up her hands, barely even noticing she's slipped into a rant.

She did try to defend him, it's just that thinking about him just makes her frustrated all over again.

"Growing up is hard in more ways than one, isn't it? We start to see things more clearly. Unfortunately that can mean a lot of disappointment."

"I'm just not like them. I want different things, you know?"

"You want more."

"Yeah. I do." She sighs, and then shrugs a little. "Maybe I was always meant to be an outcast."

"You're only an outcast as long as you want to get back in. Otherwise, you're just free."

"Are you?"

"Hm?"

"I mean, don't you want to get back in?"

There is a pause, a sudden stillness as Ursula's face darkens, her eyes flash, and she draws herself up to full height, looking down on Ariel who backs away. It's not like she ever exactly forgets who Ursula is, but she is suddenly, starkly reminded that the woman is dangerous. 

Ursula's plump lips are drawn wide in that cruel smile of hers. "Perhaps you shouldn't ask a girl questions if you don't want to hear the answers."

Ariel's scared but not _just_ scared, she's something else, too. A strange thrill energises her to straighten her spine and press on. "I bet you miss it, too. Even though it's been so long. Everyone is scared of you back home now, you know." 

Ursula looms closer, till Ariel feels the wall of the cave at her back. "That's because I'm a wicked, wicked witch. You weren't so scared of me, were you, my dear?"

"Not - not too scared."

"How about now?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm feeling braver all the time. I'm going to go and find more sea urchins." She slips out from between Ursula and the wall and escapes the cave, her heart racing. 

*

A black tentacle casually slides along one of Ariel's as she swims past, the tip flicking one sensitive little sucker. Ariel shudders, but doesn't shy away. The rooms and passages of Ursula's cave aren't always roomy enough for two. And tentacles tend to wander if you aren't paying attention; the things get everywhere, it can't really be helped.

"Are you going up to the surface today?" Ursula asks. "Maybe I'll join you, I'm sure we could find something up there worth our while."

"No, I don't think so. Weren't you going to teach me more about incantations?"

"Are you sure? We could visit the harbour, or the castle perhaps. Might even catch a glimpse of that -"

"Do we need any scrolls for this? I organised them the other day, I know where all of them are."

"Yes, you sure have a knack for categorisation. How did I ever manage without you?"

Ursula's smile is indulgent. Ariel, with less hesitation than she once might have, smiles back. 

*

As the days and weeks pass she finds herself getting used to the sight of them, those small shivering things in the corner of her eye, shrinking back if anyone comes too near. When she catches herself at this she becomes all the more determined that she _won't_ just abandon them here if she manages to get herself out of all of this. 

She concentrates on transformation spells, practising in private where Ursula won't see and guess her true motive. Her first attempts are on rocks and shells, then she moves on to anemones, working up to sea worms and molluscs. There's a lot of trial and error involved, and what happens to the errors is best not to dwell upon, but with her goal in sight she refuses to give up.

None of this will count if she can't make it work on a person. Then, in theory, she can change herself into whatever she wants; be whatever she wants. And she might be able to help the unfortunate souls, too. 

When another oyster ends up a strange, twisted, twitching lump in its shell, and completely lacking the shrimp antennae Ariel was trying to give it, she tells herself it will all be worth it. 

She swallows the evidence. It's not like oysters are very attractive in their natural state, anyway.

The problem is that her month is almost up, and one day she works up the courage to approach Ursula about it.

"Do you think I'll turn back, soon? You said the spell would wear off after a month..."

"Hmm, difficult to say. But yes, I suppose the magic is fading a little. Can't you feel it?"

"I don't know, what am I supposed to be feeling?"

"Hmph, we really must find the time to work on your attunement."

"But..."

"Yes?"

"What will happen then?"

"What will happen when?"

"After. After the spell wear off, and I turn back. What about our... bargain."

"Oh, that old thing. I suppose it's null and void if I don't turn you into a human like you wanted."

"But I don't want that anymore."

"Really? You young people, so capricious. Guess it was just a phase."

"It's not like that, I just -" 

She doesn't want Ursula to turn her into a human. She wants to turn herself into one. 

Or at least she wants to know how. She wants more magic, wants the power to make herself into anything she wants to be. She wants to keep learning. _And to help the unfortunate souls,_ she reminds herself. _Because they were just as foolish as I was._

"Well, I suppose we'll see. You'll probably turn back into your regular old self sooner or later. Magic. So unpredictable. But so much fun, isn't it?" Ursula says with a grin more like a leer.

"Yes." Ariel worries her lip between her teeth. 

Has she guessed about Ariel's plans? Ursula always seems to see more than she lets on. And she seems to understand the things that Ariel feels and wants, more than anyone else ever has. Maybe she knows about this, too. 

"Don't look so glum," Ursula moves closer to stroke a hand along Ariel's back and pat her shoulder comfortingly. "Sure, you'll miss me, but won't it be grand to go back home, see all your little friends, your family who must be missing you so... It'll be just like you never left."

 _No,_ Ariel thinks, it won't.

*

Ursula is asleep in her chamber. The eels are curled up together in their bed. Ariel added a little something extra to their dinner tonight, to ensure they won't stir. 

She thinks she knows what Ursula means about feeling the spell fading. The more she pays attention, the more she becomes aware of the magic weaving in and around herself, from her torso down along each of her eight extremities. The spell is binding, Ursula said the day she cast it. Ariel can feel those bonds holding her in this unnatural state. 

She doesn't think she's imagining them growing a little less tangible by the day. 

Similar to how her abilities are growing stronger, bit by bit.

A month has passed. She can't wait any longer.

She crouches over the cauldron, alert to any sound as she adds her carefully amassed ingredients one by one. The incantation she recites as quietly as she can, one hand clutching the shell to her chest. 

The last ingredient is a strand of her hair. A mermaid's hair. 

She hopes it still counts.

Once the potion is bubbling and shimmering the way she thinks it should be, Ariel collects some of it in a small vial. She's nervous bringing it over to the nearest of the unfortunate souls. It's a risk, but she feels like if she ended up like that, she would want to at least _try_.

"I think this will help," she whispers to them, all but flattening herself to the floor to get down on their level. "If one of you wants to go first...?"

They shiver and shrink away. Ariel is dismayed. They have been reduced to a state of utter hopelessness. Maybe bravery is beyond them. 

"I might be going home soon. I don't want to just leave you here like this. Please let me try to help?"

They seem to all look around at each other, eyes wide with fear. Finally, though, one lone creature cranes hesitantly towards her. 

She remembers suddenly the moment Ursula convinced her to reach out her hand and sign the contract. It was so final, that simple act, and it all happened so quickly, before she even had time to really think about what she was doing.

This unfortunate soul was once merfolk like herself. Would it think twice if she gave it the chance? 

Her hand wavers for only a second before she dumps the viscous glowing potion over the creature's head and says the final words, stumbling only once or twice over her pronunciation.

She throws herself backwards as there is a burst of light and a sudden heaving, expanding mass where the tiny volunteer was rooted to the floor. It lurches about in the water in the midst of violent transformation. Ariel, startled and wide-eyed, flattens herself against the wall, desperately hoping that once the shape finally settles it will be a perfectly regular merperson.

Her hope vanishes when the thing starts to shriek.

*

Ursula is awake, and applauding. Definitely sarcastic this time.

"Bravo! Excellent performance overall, even if the grand finale was a bit of a let-down."

Ariel can't even care about what Ursula is going to do to her for this. She's too horrified at her own failure as she stares down at the thing she created. The thing she killed.

It's closer to a mermaid's body than to the shrivelled form it had before. But that isn't saying much.

She's too ashamed to look at the other unfortunate souls. "I just wanted to help," she whispers. "What did I do wrong?"

"Well, getting caught certainly wasn't smart," Ursula drawls. "Flotsam, Jetsam! Seize her!"

The two eels lift their heads sluggishly at first, then snap to attention. Ariel doesn't struggle when they shoot over and grab her, one wrapping tightly around each of her arms.

Ursula advances on her, carelessly trawling over the tortured corpse resting on the cave floor. "Now, what to do with you?"

"I'm not sorry! I mean, I'm sorry it didn't work, but I'm not sorry I tried. You can't just leave them like that! It's cruel!"

"It's fair. They're paying their price. Although I admit maybe they'd prefer things your way. How many of them would rather end up like that one, at your hands, than live under mine."

"I didn't mean to - I'm so sorry I couldn't - I was only trying to help."

"I can see that. So kind of you. So compassionate."

"What are you going to do to me?"

"Well, let me see, you have robbed me of one of my pets. Theft, you know, is a serious business. But, I suppose... I could accept some sort of payment in return."

"Like what?"

"Equal payment, now, that's the thing, isn't it? In all fairness, you'd take their place."

Ariel's heart sinks. She sags between the two eels holding her in place. She always knew, didn't she, that she'd end up like this. One of those things. Helpless, trapped. Pathetic. 

"Please don't."

"Don't what?" Ursula asks then barks a laugh. "You think I'm going to - oh no, no, my dear, you've got it all wrong. I would never. You? One of them? Oh please. You're a special case, a real work of art." Ursula glides closer, and tips Ariel's chin up with the tip of her finger. "I like you just the way you are."

*

 _It could be worse,_ Ariel tells herself. 

Really, if there's one thing she's learned, it's that things could always be worse.

A year isn't so long, especially since she had been expecting forever. But Ursula was feeling generous, so she said as she drew up the new contract. And Ariel, still appalled at herself and the death she had caused, had signed her name with none of the confusion or excitement of the last time.

 _A year,_ she thinks, _is nothing._

Even belonging to Ursula. Even being like this. 

She's used to the tentacles now, and in a way she's used to Ursula, too. Her fits and moods, her vanity and indolence, her rasping voice and sensual smiles. The touch of another's tentacles twining with her own.

Ariel has no doubt that she can bear it all, knowing it could be worse, and that she has plenty of time now to keep working on her growing powers. Not so bad a trade, all things considered.

Ursula seems pleased enough with the arrangement, too, and something else Ariel has learned is that it's a valuable thing, pleasing Ursula. 

"Pet," Ursula says, a single curling tentacle emerging from the boudoir entrance to beckon her, "come here, won't you?"

Ursula is petty and selfish, but she can be generous, too, under the right circumstances. With her, one simply has to be willing and able to pay the price. 

One way or another, Ariel is beginning to find that she can always get what she wants in the end. 

*

Time passes, and if it weren't for the changing temperatures of the water she wouldn't even notice. There's always a new spell to try, a new ingredient to source, another charm to imbue with power.

She regains her confidence as her knowledge expands. Her experiments are nearly always successful now, and her triumphs buoy her spirits and spur her efforts to be better, to do more.

"I'm ready to try again," she says one day. "I think I know what I did wrong last time."

"Go ahead, do your worst." Ursula's languid amusement is a fine contrast to Ariel's bold stance.

"What if I succeed?"

"What if you don't?"

Ariel pauses, frowns slightly. "Then I'll just have to try again, and do better next time."

"Hmm. So determined. I've always liked that about you."

"Well, will you let them go if I get it right this time?"

"You know there'll be a price."

"It's magic. There's always a price." 

"Then what are you willing to offer me?"

"I'll stay." Ariel lifts her chin. "Either way, I'll stay."

*

Her friends don't come to visit anymore. 

Last time Sebastian had been here he had almost fainted upon catching sight of a platter of empty lobster claws, the shells sucked clean of their delicate flesh.

She had tried to apologise - it's not like she left them out on purpose, it just slipped her mind. And besides, all creatures have to eat something, she's no different than anyone else that way. 

Sebastian wouldn't listen, wouldn't even let her explanation. He had looked at her with such condemnation in his eyes, a look she didn't care for at all. It felt so unfair, after everything she'd been through. 

It's not her fault if crustaceans are delicious. 

"I thought we were friends," were his last words to her.

She used to think so, too. But she finds that, once he's gone, she doesn't really miss him. 

*

Ursula goes out one morning. Ariel doesn't ask where, just swims over to kiss her puckered lips when Ursula taps them in wordless invitation.

"Don't wait up!" Ursula laughs and waves as she heads off.

Later Ariel catches sight of her reflection in Ursula's mirror, sees the deep red tint of her lips that had been transferred from Ursula's to her own. She prods at the stain, spreading it more fully across her bottom lip. Funny, in the mirror she could almost be that same girl who ventured into the sea witch's domain almost a year ago now. The mirror only reflects her head and shoulders. Beneath the waist, of course, is another story.

Reaching out she touches a fingertip to the mirror, leaving a red spot on the glass. She whispers a spell, and waves a hand, and the mirror shows more than merely her reflection.

She sees a young woman in a shimmering dress standing tall on her own two feet. There's a man beside her, his hair black and his face hazy; really, he could be anyone.

Ariel waves her hand again, and sees herself alone, just as she is. Red lips. Sharp eyes. She smiles at herself and then turns away.

Later, when Ursula returns she tosses a stone fish at Ariel and declares it's her turn to extract the poison.

Ariel expertly snatches the fish from the air with one tentacle, and holds it up at eye-height to consider the spiky dorsal fin where the toxin resides. "It's always my turn."

"How else will you earn your keep?"

 _Easily,_ Ariel thinks, and swims over to kiss Ursula's cheek. "Welcome home," she says.

*

"What have you been doing burrowed down in here all day?" 

Ariel looks up from her work briefly and then back down again. Ursula seems to be in a mood. Ariel doesn't much care.

"I'm fixing this spell."

"What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing, really. But haven't you noticed that it really helps to personalise it - not just reciting the words, but to do it your own way? Like you're putting a part of yourself in the magic. Always seems to work better that way."

"Now you're thinking like a witch."

Ariel finally focuses on Ursula. "I don't think I'm a witch. No offence. Just because I use magic..."

Ursula rolls her eyes. "Listen to you. Your father would be so proud. You're a real chip off the old block."

"That isn't true. My father would hate what I've become. He wouldn't be proud; he'd never want to see me like this." 

The words as she says them don't bother her much. They are simply the truth, and there's no pain in them that can touch her. 

She's no longer that girl who felt like her world was ending because her father decided to break all of her toys.

Ursula smiles a very smug smile. "Well, then I wonder what will happen when the two of you meet again. You do plan to see him again, don't you? Your poor dear father, who must be missing you so."

"I suppose I'll have to see him," she admits, "eventually. Things can't go on like this forever." 

"What a pity. And will the little mermaid change her scales? Or reclaim them, I suppose you'd say. He might try to make you what you once were."

"I'm not worried about that."

"No?"

Ariel shrugs. "He can do what he likes. But I'm not going to be anything other than just what I want to be. It's important to know who you really are, isn't it? That way no matter what anyone tries, they won't be able to change you."

"Couldn't have said it better, my dear."

"Did you need something?" Ariel looks back down at her work. 

"No, no, carry on, don't mind me." 

Ariel doesn't mind. In fact it's almost a full minute before she realises Ursula is still there, watching her. 

"He should be proud," Ursula says. "You've become such a fine young woman. More magnificent than he could ever imagine. I can only hope that one day he's able to see you for what you truly are."

"If he does, it will break his heart."

"Precisely."

*

Ariel lies on the floor of the cave. The ends of her tentacles lazily explore every irregularity of the rock surface. They're never really still, always feeling, touching, seeking. Ariel has always been a restless spirit, and so in a way they suit her. These days she might even be willing to admit it. 

But right now she's busy considering one of the unfortunate souls. It doesn't really matter which, of course. They're all the same, cowering as they always do when anyone so much as glances in their direction. This one she's chosen has been here for a long time. Maybe so long it doesn't even remember being anything else.

She soothes it with the stroke of her fingertip.

"I just want to help, you know," Ariel says. "Wouldn't you like to be more than you are?"

*

Ariel takes her voice back one day. 

It's just magic, after all. It's magic, and it belongs to her, and she realises this has been true all along. 

She takes the shell from the string around her neck, and puts it in her mouth. It crunches, brittle between her teeth, and she swallows it down. It hurts like splintered glass in her throat, but it feels good. It feels right.

She opens her mouth and sings.


End file.
